- I'm at my highest non-pregnant weight. I've been here once before, and my body likes this weight. Loves it, maybe. I'm very stable here, I can eat a lot and not gain; but I can also eat a little, and not lose.
- I have, therefore, 20 pounds to lose, to get to a good weight for me. My deepest desire would be 30 pounds, but I've never accomplished that weight, ever, for all my trying.
- I've been exercising faithfully for about six weeks now, after a fairly long hiatus. My aerobic capacity is slowly increasing, and my strength is increasing as well. Just bought a few new strength training DVDs to help me mix stuff up a little.
- Have been doing quite well in recent weeks on portion control, and eating less.
- Made the mistake last week of weighing myself to see if all this exercise and careful eating has had any effect. I haven't budged so much as an ounce after more than a month of effort.
- So Friday and Saturday I ate pretty much everything in sight, indulged in all my favorites. Delicious!
- And then I realized what I was doing. Same old thing; if I don't see the results I think I should, I don't have the willpower to keep going. I inhale the baby, the bathwater, and everything else edible; since eating less didn't work, why not eat all I want?
- So I'm back in the saddle more or less, and I'm not going to weigh myself. Because it's all a mind game. I want to eat well and exercise no matter what the results, and I don't want to lose control if there's no obvious difference on the scale.
- Back when I started Eat Stop Eat and I didn't see results as quickly as I wanted, I determined that a 24-hour fast (say, from 6pm Mon - 6pm Tue) wasn't working for me. I was basically only fasting two meals because I'd begin my fast after eating lunch one day and end it before eating lunch the next. Wasn't working. So I started fasting calendar days instead, e.g. fasting all three meals on Tuesday.
- The that ceased to work for me. Fasting became almost as much of a mind game as weighing was—me negotiating mentally with myself, or breaking down after two fasted meals and saying, "But food isn't bad!" while I consumed an entire day's calories.
- I don't know why it took me so long—more than a year!—to remember the original form of Eat Stop Eat, but I decided yesterday after lunch to try again. So I fasted last night's dinner, this morning's breakfast, and today's lunch. Three meals. It was easy! I didn't even actually get hungry, though I wanted food.
- The best part was, as Brad Pilon says, I got to eat on each day. I knew I could start yesterday because I'd already had two meals I really enjoyed; I knew I could make it through today because I could look forward to a delicious dinner. So perhaps, perhaps, I'm back in ESE business. We'll see.
- Husband can't do Eat Stop Eat well at all, he gets migraine-level headaches when he fasts. He kept trying, did like 20 fasts with this debilitating head pain. (Going without food isn't an issue at all, in fact he finds it a relief not to have to think about meals. If only he could see through the blinding head pain.) Finally I told him that I certainly wouldn't do something that made me suffer so terribly, if it was only one of many options to accomplish a weight loss goal.
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